As the nation takes steps to open after what seems like an eternity in lockdown, and restrictions are gradually being removed, it can feel both exciting and scary at the same time. For those who can now come and go more freely, visit shops and other establishments, and most importantly see family and friends missed during the long months, there is a glimpse of return to long-awaited normality (or new normal as is often used).
At the same time, the brain needs to adjust, yet again, to a new situation. The lockdown that was at first unfamiliar, and even unbearable, became life as we knew it, and we adapted to it as best we could.
Now that life again holds more options, it can feel equally unfamiliar.
When more and more people start going out and about, I’ve noticed I don’t quite know how to deal with it at times. I want to go out, but I also feel cautious. Sometimes I feel guilty of letting my guard down, and I’m left wondering whether I’m allowed to enjoy and not to worry. I get caught up by other people’s behaviour, and sometimes I worry whether I do things ‘correctly’.
Uncertainty and anxious thoughts are natural in any new situation. Even when change is considered positive, we might feel hesitant. As it remains essential to be aware of our behaviour when outdoors, letting our thoughts lead can also become a source of overwhelm and stress.
Thoughts are, after all, just thoughts. Rather than being always true, they tend to be our interpretation of a situation, of ourselves or another person.
Our thoughts hold lots of power over our behaviour and wellbeing. If you notice your thoughts circling over repeating themes, impacting your mood, it can be helpful to find ways to step out of them once in a while.
Regular meditation strengthens the ability to do this. At the same time, practising mindfulness is ideally not separate from our lives; something that we go ‘to do’ when the circumstances are right. Each moment can be approached mindfully, seeing all our experiences through mindful ‘lenses’; allowing things to be just what they are, without judgement or getting hooked up by what our mind might assume about them.
Below I share a couple of simple ways to cultivate connectedness and peace in a moment.
Especially number 2 below can be helpful outdoors. However, all these practices strengthen our capacity to feel more at ease, regardless of what is going on. You can feel their effect not just when you’re doing them, but done regularly; they might begin to realise in life in surprising ways. What you feed grows.
1) Begin the day with intention. Before you get out of the bed in the morning, pause to feel your body resting on the bed. Scan through your body, from head to toe, your attention going through it region by region. Not thinking too much about the experience, instead just sensing how the body feels.
If you like, you can sense the breath moving the body, wherever you feel the movement best. Perhaps on your belly or your chest. Receiving each inhale as it comes and letting your body fill with air, your stomach and chest rising, and then releasing the air with the exhale, and letting your stomach and chest fall back and relax. Briefly note what thoughts are there as you’re waking up, but try not to follow them or think about them further.
When you feel ready to move, slowly turn on your side, lift your legs out of bed first, the rest of the body following, and place your feet firmly against the floor. Follow through a couple of breaths in and out, getting used to your surroundings, and then move onto whatever you need to do next with intention.
2) When you’re outdoors or around people and notice yourself getting carried away with your thoughts and ruminations, there are a couple of ways to help anchor yourself and slow down the cycle of worry, stress, or anger.
a) Bring your attention to your feet. (Or another spot in the body that feels restful to you. The key is to bring your focus on one area). Walking, standing or sitting, feel your feet touching the ground; sense how the surface feels against the feet; your soles, heels, and toes.
Can you sense mild pressure or tingling around your feet, warmth or cold, the soft texture of your sock or the shoe around your foot? Bring curiosity to any sensations around the feet, even the small ones, that you can feel. If you’re standing, you can sway subtly to feel the contact with the ground better. You can even imagine the feet growing roots through the ground like a tree, steady and flexible at the same time.
When your thoughts are about to take over, the best you can, don’t blame yourself, simply drop your attention to feel the feet again; solely the physical sensations. Without thinking about what you should sense or analysing the experience in any way.
b) Focus on something you can see. A street lamp, a sign, a tile, a plant, a cloud, anything that is there. It does not need to be exciting! Give it your full attention. Letting go of thoughts about it, but examining with interest: the shape, the colour, the density, any patterns the object has. Does it look the same when you look at it routinely, as opposed to when you give it your full attention? Even a dull, everyday object can become interesting when you focus on it without judgment or narrative of mind.
When you intentionally bring your full attention to one thing, the brain doesn’t need to try and manage all the other things happening around you. This can be immensely helpful in bringing a sense of control to an overwhelming moment.
3) Bring mindfulness into your routines. The activities you perform every day are often the times when your thoughts take on a life of their own. A boring task or a task that doesn’t usually require much effort and concentration can become a source of calm when you focus on doing it with all your senses. Like washing the dishes, reading a book, preparing food, or sorting the paperwork. Even the smallest moment, like opening and closing the door, can be a mindful moment: The feel of the handle against your palm, the sound of the latch, turning of the key in the lock.
I love this example from one of my course participants who shared it as their favourite mindful routine activity: When you’re folding the laundry, tune into the activity mindfully. Taking in the fresh scent of shirts, towels and pillow covers. Sensing the texture of the fabric between your fingers, the smoothness, the roughness, buttons, stitches and seams. Let your eyes wander on the colours and patterns. Feel the shape and the weight of the material. When folding the laundry, can you feel the movement of your hands, folding each item, placing into the pile or drawer one by one?
Any moment can be a moment where you’re fully present.
As it’s often about us remembering to do these things, perhaps choose one activity that you will do each day the next five days mindfully.
Whether it’s brushing your teeth in the morning, washing your hair, reading a bedtime story or hanging the laundry, the activity doesn’t need to be a long one. But it can give you a sense of achievement and appreciation while you’re doing it when you notice yourself doing it.
Changes take time to adjust to, especially for our mind.
It’s important to recognise this in yourself and that you have your own pace and style of dealing with new things. You might recognise this in other people too.
Weaving small mindful moments into your day can help you to become aware of what you need, to restore and maintain balance, giving space to the inner voice. Even in those moments where everything is not under our control, we can still make choices with the things that are.
Author: Elisa Riutta, South Coast Mindfulness
Editing: Anna-Mari Jäppinen