To sit in a posture for longer periods of time requires practise. Equally it can be seen as a decision we make when we sit down to meditate. Experiencing ourselves in full stillness is a great teacher. We don’t give in to the urge to move immediately when things get a bit not-so-easy or not-so-pleasant. The body starts aching, legs numbing, everything is suddenly itching. The mind is shouting ‘Do something’, ‘I can’t sit like this’ - I need to do something to release the discomfort. The other type of the discomfort is the mental or emotional discomfort. A disturbing thought, feelings of worry, sadness, anger, resentment, fear, shame. In meditation both types, physical and emotional, show themselves to us.
Experiencing discomfort and noticing the urge to run away from it, does not mean you are doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you could congratulate yourself. You are meeting the present moment in its true form. And this is what we aim to do in mindfulness. But it doesn’t take away the fact that these physical and emotional states can at times feel quite discouraging and overwhelming. So what to do with discomfort when we come face to face with it? A couple of approaches to consider.
1) Acknowledge it. This is always the most important step. No matter what kind of discomfort you are facing the first important step is to acknowledge it is there. When we experience something unpleasant , our first instinct is to turn the other way; distract ourselves or pretend it is not there. This usually makes the discomfort just knock louder. Instead, try to approach the physical or emotional difficulty gently. Where is it in the body? Approach its edges. Pay attention to what kind of sensation this discomfort is. What does it feel like? Can you name it or give it any qualities? Small, big, heavy, warm, foggy, ache, pounding, moving, still. Stepping towards the discomfort, observing it in this neutral objective way, you start to change your relation to it - and whether it is a solid part of you or something that is just your experience in that moment.
2) Breathe in to the discomfort. After bringing gentle awareness to the discomfort, and if you have been able to locate it in the body, you can experiment guiding your breath to the area. With each in-breath imagine the air flowing into the area and with each out-breath let the discomfort in this area to dissolve. Rather than trying to make it to dissolve, you put this option out there - that it may also be possible let go of this pain rather than holding on to it.
3) Approach and step back (and repeat). After you have allowed yourself to notice where the discomfort is, you can decide to shift your attention elsewhere. This is different than our habitual reaction of running away from anything unpleasant. Here you make a conscious decision to move your attention. You might for example choose to observe another region of your body or focus on your breath for a few moments. In other words, you can move somewhere completely else in the body or you can choose to take just a couple of steps back from the intense sensation. Observe how your experience changes. You can approach the intense sensation again at your own pace, and again take a step back. As long as you are not trying to change or get rid of your experience, this can be a helpful approach to stay with something that otherwise may feel too much.
4) Move and adjust. Sometimes the greatest act of self-care in a situation is to relieve the difficulty rather than force yourself to stick with it. When you decide to move, let’s say your numbing legs, do this with the greatest awareness. Follow the each little movement you make, how you make them and how does it make you feel. And then return to stillness. This minor-sounding process can provide you with valuable information about yourself and how you respond to situations. When you remain aware of what you are doing, you remain in the practise, even during the movement.
In mindfulness we are all beginners. To every practise we bring our beginner’s mind, curious for an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves.